Why cant I just leave the past alone?

Why can't a just choose my future and leave my past alone? 

Well it happened yet again went back to my matty/gaz guy. Just a kiss and a cuddle nothing more but it's fcuked with my mind since Saturday I can't think straight.

I just know we aren't finished what ever we are... okay I'm not ready or willing to give him up yet?? Why can't I just say no to myself?? He will probably be the death of me some day.

Wish my head and heart would just get over him so I can move on and find a nice guy.

Wishing my heart would stop caring.

Bxoxox

A drunken night to forget

Hey guys what a mess I got into on Saturday night my good god haha.

Well let's just by pass how much I had to drink (not that much so i'm confused how I got in this sate)

Pulled (kissed) one of my mates mate and ended up him carrying me like back to his flat well student halls.. but anyway got into his room and like puked my guts up my god, I'm never sick from drink anyway he was really sweet about like stroking my back while my my head was in his toilet and he was like holding my hair... awhh he was so sweet it about anyway least to say there was NO sex when we got to his bed just spooning while  I try not to be sick again... and him just like stroking my back telling me everything is okay and not to worry.

2hours later it happens... his room mate comes home (she is a girl) and well lets say she brought a person back with her... so yeh while I was still trying nea to be sick in his bed all we hear is her moaning... oh no it get's worse... then the bed starts going Im guessing her bed is backed onto his wall?? As it was banging into his wall.

AHHH cringe worth right there!!!! Never been so embarrassed in my life haha. 

Well I will leave you laughing at my cringe worthy moment haha

Bxoxox